Bollywood has given me unrealistic expectations of men…

The title of this blog was the easy part but now it’s time for me to put the argument to you all. I do feel that there is truth in the statement. From the ultimate loverboy of my time, Prem from Maine Pyar Kiya, to the pure-hearted husband of recent times, Suri in Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi, the dream has never been shattered. In fact, fuel is added to this very unachievable dream with every dreamy romantic gesture made by each loverboy that Indian cinema continues to produce. It’s almost as if every romantic male character adds a notch to the belt of the argument here in. Perhaps a few examples will help my case…

What Maine Pyar Kiya’s Prem taught me…

Confession time. Prem only had an out-of-the-ordinary affect on me because he was played by the ever-so-handsome Salman Khan. I was an impressionable young girl who had dreams in her heart and stars in her eyes. Prem was the kind of guy that every such girl desired. He was mischievous, playful, romantic… and he looked pretty good too! To top it off he owned a motorbike which instantly made him that much more manly. Anyway, I could go on listing what made him desirable but I will cut to the chase! Prem taught me that a man would defy all odds to prove to my father that he is worthy of being my life partner. That, my dearies, is Myth numero uno.

 What Dil’s Raja taught me…

Perhaps not your most obvious loverboy but a lover and a boy nonetheless. From the college adventures to the little love-shack, this character grows on you more and more as the plot gets underway. With a cheeky smile, unmatchable arrogance and a whole host of pranks, Raja almost instantly becomes the kind of guy that is every college girl’s nightmare. This quickly changes and he soon becomes every girl’s ultimate when he whisks his ladylove away from all the negativity to a place where there is just the two of them and their love. There in lies Myth number 2: Raja taught me that a man would run away with me, if needs be, whilst carelessly singing, “Humne ghar choda hai…”.

 What Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa’s Sunil taught me…

Ahhh Sunil! Where do I start? Sunil’s tale of unrequited love touches the heart in a big way. His clumsiness, his bad results and his middle-class background do him no favours but Sunil’s USP lies in his genuine and innocent feelings for his lady love. He makes many attempts to win her heart even though he knows she has fallen for someone else. Not only does he fail miserably each time, but he also ends up with his ladylove not talking to him. Although his love is not triumphant in the end, Sunil taught me that if a man loves you, he will try to win your heart many times over despite not succeeding in previous endeavours. Myth number 3 is perhaps the biggest of them all!


What Saathiya’s Adi taught me…

 Aside from the usual suspects, Adi is arguably one of the most memorable loverboys of them all. “Persistent” would be a good word to describe him. “Determined” would be another. How else would you describe a gentleman who first sets eyes on a girl at a wedding and then pursues her until she falls for his charms? A self-confident and borderline annoying character whose life-span in the movie makes him very real. We see him at his best and we also witness his down time. Perhaps this is what makes Adi so fascinating. Adi taught me that a man would always go back to his love, no matter what. Myth number 4 couldn’t be more of a myth if it tried!

What Vivah’s Prem taught me…

This one is absolute “janam janam ka saath” material. Not only was he cute, innocent, loving and well-to do, but he is also good at keeping in touch. Sound good so far? Prem also shouts “I Love You” on the phone when in a different country… I’m sure you will agree that this is a talent in itself. What makes this loverboy really stand out is his big heart and the truth of his love. His love is not just for the way his love looks on the outside but also for who she is on the inside. Prem taught me that no matter what a girl looks like, once a man has fallen for her, there would be no going back. I think a bar of chocolate and a variety of cupcakes will help me get over the untruth of Myth number 5… besides, according to this myth, my prince charming won’t be bothered by my size!

What Namastey London’s Arjun taught me…


This was the story of an arranged marriage that went wrong before it turned out right. Arjun’s love at first sight and attempt to woo a lady in his Punjabi style was somewhat endearing. Well, perhaps endearing isn’t the right word… maybe replace it with positively sleezy. Having said this, it is Arjun’s unwaivering dedication to his ladylove that makes him a good model for unrealistic expectations. He chooses to protect and look out for his semi-wife despite knowing that she was in love with a man from a different culture. It is this very conviction and relentlessness which ultimately makes an impact. Arjun taught me that a man would always remain a pillar of support despite dealing with continuous rejection and embarrassment. Consider Myth number 6’s bubble burst.

It takes just a series of examples to illustrate my point. If Bollywood’s male characters weren’t so “perfect” then perhaps the girls of today would be happy with life’s very average men in comparison. I totally and utterly blame Indian cinema for it’s constant reminders of what men could be like and for it’s ongoing way of giving us women false hope. Either the real men should think of re-creating a new and improved version of themselves or us women should just be made to return to planet Earth with a loud and very unapologetic thud. Living in the clouds is one thing but living your life by the men portrayed by Bollywood is really another.


  1. really good post amrita.. but u forgot to mention sooo many other characters/films; devdas, veer zaara, love, etc..


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