During the last few years, I’ve learnt to value my true friends. Actually, I stand corrected… what I’ve really done is identify my true friends and then value them all the more. For those who are in the know, the last few months have been particularly hard for me. In the days when I needed my friends to lean on, I found my closest the furthest away. I found those who I thought I could rely on distance themselves from me. I’m not the kind of girl who needs to be by myself very often and least of all when I’m going through a tough time in my life. Therefore, it’s hard to understand why certain friends deem is perfectly acceptable to ‘leave me to it’ when I need them the most. Having said all of this, I put my hand on my heart and say that the friends who have stepped up and been a part of my every struggle are more valued in my life than at any other time.
A girl like me finds inspiration in everyday things and routine thoughts. I try my utmost not to take things, experiences or people for granted. I know it’s the typical Scorpion in me which puts my all into my relationships and often finds I get less than the same in return but, in all honesty, I truly believe that my expectations are justified. I don’t make friends easily and neither do I allow people to get close to me unless I am absolutely comfortable with it and have immense trust in them. I tread carefully when it comes to relationships because I’ve been hurt before, I’ve been used before and I’ve also been taken for granted before. I have also thought about the kind of friend I am in all of this… so I’m not just talking about the taking but also about what I’ve been giving.
Right now, as I think about the last few months, I am grateful in a way I’ve never been previously. I am thankful that God gave me a time in my life where I’ve been able to identify the people in my life who have been taggers-on. I am grateful that I am now, in going forward, going to be able to take my real friendships further. Most of all, I’m feeling lucky in knowing that the friends that I do have in my life who are perfectly genuine are there because they want to be and because I want them to be. No-one is now around because they are trying to get something for me when in reality they just don’t care enough.
So… a toast to the friends I have in my life who are my true inspiration. You inspire me to be others’ strength because I know you are mine. You inspire me to be strong in myself and give me a kick up the backside (rightfully) when I’m wobbling. Most of all, you inspire me to be me and make me feel like I’ve made the right decisions somewhere along the line to have ended up with you in my life. Someone very wise once said that every friend represents a different world in you. This couldn’t have been more apt a description. My worlds with my friends are all different but one thing remains a theme throughout and that is my honesty. I will always give you my honesty as long as you always continue to inspire me…. Deal?